Write Yourself Your Destiny
by TheUptownGirl
Summary: Written before the Abduction. Sydney’s stuck with a writing assignment for a class and finds herself writing what she wish would happen. Total S/V Fluff with a little fun thrown in there! (Ch1 rewritten and final chapter up~)
1. Writer's Block

Disclaimer: Alias is not mine but I wish it were.  
  
A/N: This chapter has been redone. I wanted to add some thing in, very subtle but definite changes!  
  
"I can't think!" Sydney bellowed from her bedroom into the void of space. "I hate writer's block!"!" Sydney cried from her bedroom, with her laptop resting uncomfortably on her lap.  
  
"That's why you're in sucha foul mood." Will appeared at her doorway from the kitchen and leaned against the door jam. He smiled at his friend, lying on her bed with her laptop balancing on one knee. She had propped herself up with pillows and sat with a very cross look on her face.. He still had a crush on her but came the realization a few months ago that they were destined to be friends.  
  
"Why did I take this class?" Sydney moaned and flopped back onto her white pillows. "It's due tomorrow and all I have is my name written down!"  
  
"You did it because you like challenges?" He walked slowly towards the bed and stood at the foot of it.  
  
"And being a double agent and traveling all over the world isn't?" Francie wasn't home and then could talk freely. "Come.sit, talk." Sydney sat up and motioned for Will to come and join her. She was dressed casually and it was Saturday, no work for that day.  
  
"Yeah, but you like challenges." Will smugly replied and wilted down next to her. He laid on his side, looking on to her laptop.  
  
"But I have writer's block." Sydney grew quiet for a moment, "Do you want to write it for me? You're such a tal-" She pouted her lips a little hoping her charm would rub off and he would cave. No such luck.  
  
Will bit his lip to prevent a swelling smile, "Tempting but no. It's your assignment, Syd. I can't do it for you. Trust me, tempting but you need to write on your own."  
  
  
  
"Yeah, well." She glanced around her room. "Why can't I write?"  
  
Will started to laugh. "Miss CIA-I-can-save-the-world-and-in-heals- so- there can't write a short story?"  
  
Sydney sighed in disgust and glared at the computer screen. "Why can't I write?"  
  
Will started to laugh. "Miss CIA-I-can-save-the-world-and-in-heals- so- there can't write a short story?"  
  
"Hey! For your information, I haven't saved the world in over a week!" She cried, giving Will a playful shove that resulted in him tumbling from the bedside. "So there!"  
  
Will continued to laugh from the ground. "Help me up?"  
  
"You deserved to push." Sydney responded, starting to laugh a little herself. She finally gave in and pulled him up by his hands.  
  
"It's about time!" Will happily rejoined his friend on the white feather comforter. "So tell me, what are you suppose to be writing about?"  
  
"I'm supposed to write what I know." Sydney glanced back at Will and then at her laptop.  
  
"Well, what do you know?" Will started to coax her, adjusting his weight trying to get more comfortable.  
  
"Um.my mom was KGB and faked her own death but is now in a CIA cell, my boss is one of the most evil men in the world..I work for the people I thought I was fighting.my best friend in the world was tortured because he was trying to find out information about my fiancé's death..oh! My handler's dad was killed by mother.I could go on for pages!" Sydney said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She left out one thing; I'm in love with my handler, whose father was killed by my mother.  
  
"Write about what you know as a quote normal person." Will replied, clearly thinking long and hard about his choice of words. "Or what you would be if you had a normal life."  
  
The light bulb sprung on in her head. She straightened up. "I need to get out of here! There's a place where I can.I'm gonna drive around for a bit and maybe get some ideas. Driving always clears my head." She spoke quickly and pushed her laptop off of her leg. The base of the laptop was warm and warmed her leg. Her hot leg sprung off and she started to run towards the closet. She wore a pair of form jeans and a black little tank top. It slightly showed her stomach when she moved a certain way but it didn't matter where she was going. All she needed to do was to get there. Her bare feet brought her over to her closet and found a pair of black sandals with a spiked heel. "Do you mind?"  
  
"I totally understand. How many times did I get out of here to think?" Will leaned back onto his forearms. He tilted his head to the side as Sydney threw on her black heels.  
  
"You really want to get out of here fast." Will commented. "You grabbed those heels?"  
  
  
  
""Newest fashion trend." She remarked quickly as she slide into them. dney spoke rapidly as she bounced around her room, packing up her laptop and pulling her hair back from her face. Will made an effort to move but Sydney promptly stopped him. "Stay. You need to relax. Besides, I'll be back in an hour and then I need you to read!"  
  
  
  
"And now you're a fashion diva too?"  
  
"You could say that." Sydney raced over to the bed and packed up her laptop and grabbed her keys. "Jeans, t-shirt, and heels. I'm ready for vogue."  
  
Will laughed as he watched her bop about. "Can I ask you're going?"  
  
Sydney stopped in her tracks and turned from her dresser towards Will. She really didn't know how to answer that, "I think I'm just gonna drive and where ever it leads me, is where I'm going to go." It was vague and she knew it. She leaned against her dresser as her answer registered in Will's mind.  
  
"Liar." He laughed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You got so used to lying that you can't lie to me anymore." Will got more comfortable on the bed.  
  
"Fine. I going to the warehouse." Sydney replied sheepishly. "I better get going.this is gonna take me a while." She wanted to get out here, not because she didn't like talking to Will but because she knew that if she got to the warehouse, she would be able to get her emotions about everything down.it would be kinda nice just to be alone. She called to Will once more and walked out of her house with her keys in one hand and her briefcase with her laptop in it in the other. She got into her car and started the engine and threw her briefcase on the passenger seat. It was nice running out of the house without having to save the world. "Yeah, like I save the world." Sydney spoke aloud. Her car began to pull out and she just double checked that she had everything.  
  
  
  
Please R&R! This is kinda fluffy I know but it gets cuter and sweeter once you see where Sydney is going.what she writes and a reaction you'll always want to see! 


	2. Everything Out In the Open, Almost

Author: WishingStar  
  
Title: Write Yourself Your Destiny  
  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, it is still not mine. J.J. Abrams owns them.  
  
Rating: G  
  
Pairing: Syd/Vaughn  
  
Summary: Written before the Abduction. Sydney's stuck with a writing assignment for a class and finds herself writing what she wish would happen.  
  
A/N: I haven't forgotten about AND THE BLUEBIRD MAY FALL.I'm writing the next chapter right now! But read this one in the meantime and review, review, review!  
  
  
  
  
  
She packed herself away into her car and started it. She had felt kind of bad about leaving Will all alone in the house but he could use some time to himself. This was so exciting. This was turning into the best assignment in the world and all she could do was mentally thank Professor Kennedy for it. One glance at her and you would think Hollywood. She was tall, skinny as anything, muscular, black tank-top, tight fitting jeans, brown hair left wavy and pulled half up half down, and great shoes. She had casually thrown on her silver framed sunglasses that only added to the effect. She caught her reflection inn one of her mirrors as she started to drive away. "Not bad." She spoke into the silence, suddenly smiling.  
  
She felt the adrenaline pump through her veins as she realized where she was going. It was the perfect place to write. She pressed on the gas and before you could say; "Sloane is an SOB" she was there. It was absolutely perfect spot in the world. Secluded as anything and no body would be there. She had been careful and no one had followed her. Both phones were with her and she was covered at every possible angle. She tossed her sunglasses aside to the passenger seat and grabbed the briefcase with her laptop in it. She slung it over her shoulder and exited her car. The bag was a little heavy but it didn't bother her. She could finally get all of these feelings and emotions out into the open.have others learn something about her that was the truth and not know who it was really about. How incredibly perfect.  
  
The warehouse was the best place in the world for this story. She had started to write it in her head from the moment she left the house. She hurried inside and found the ususal place where she and her love interest talked. The screen was thrown open and she began to type well over 65 words a minute. She needed to release everything that had bottled up so deeply inside her for such a long time. It had been over a year and she possibly had found "the one" but he was with someone else and she couldn't be with him and she couldn't talk to anyone about him and it was eating away at her like you would never believe.  
  
  
  
  
  
***********************************************************************She kept her heart under such heavy guard for such long time she barely recognized love anymore. Well, it wasn't a horrible long time, after all. Her guard had never been let down for she feared getting hurt. Here, she now was in a state of sheer maybe, she had let her guard down and now didn't know what to do wit it. It only took a moment of all of her preconceived notions of what "love" or a "crush" or anything of that matter to go out of the window. It only took a second and after that, her feet were on the ground and her head in the clouds. Since then, many hours had been spent not knowing how to go about this. These bottled feelings were pressing on her and rising, wanting to escape so badly to escape,  
  
That was never going to happen.  
  
It couldn't  
  
It shouldn't.  
  
This wasn't like the movies on one hand and exactly the way is was on the other. They were influential, attractive, and smart but the nagging thought that ravaged her brain was, were they right for each other? He barely knew her.they had spoke about their jobs but when they spoke such small talk, she felt like she knew him forever. She knew everything and nothing about him. This couldn't be love.other people fall in love but not her.  
  
She was the level headed one. She was the one who dreamed of foreign actors sweeping her off of her feet or being the leading lading to any male celebrity. Realistic love and crushes were for someone else. She didn't have time for it. It would get tarnished and spoiled by their busy schedules. It wouldn't work. It couldn't work.  
  
Nagging questions kept her from her needed sleep and interrupted precious dreams. They would all end the same. She would be on angelic beach with the amber colored sun hiding beneath the ocean. The sky had lost its soft blue color and now vibrant colors of orange and rust intertwined themselves to make a fiery colored work/. Clouds turned to black shadows and trickled out from view. The salty ocean below acted disoriented mirror but remained peaceful. The waves lapped against eh shore, not a yard from where she slept on the diamond colored sand. Things were too precious to have materialistic things around. Things were perfect and as the serenity of the sun setting continued, a figure, cloaked by charcoal shadows emerged and walked towards the sleeping beauty. He knelt down beside her and from his deep pockets, drew a perfect white rose. Leaving it near her face, as he rose, he would always whisper, the same words, "It would never work." And as he disappeared back to wherever he came, she would awake, feeling the delicate rose on her copper tanned face. She would bring the rose close to her face, her nose, and smell its gingerly fragrance. And as the dream would close, she would whisper her reply, "It would never work."  
  
These dreams would replay over and over again in her mind. Love was not for her. One day it would be right but not right now. Things were too crazy for any notion of romance but yet.Things, she knew, like the truth, take time but it was at moments, like that one that made her become so impatient. The guard went back around her heart and all of his images and her thoughts were stored in the place in her mind that fond memories were kept. They would always e there, for a rainy day or when things looked so bleak or depression had flooded her soaring spirit.she would always have those mental images and notes and whatever lese was subconsciously done during her most vulnerable time to date.  
  
To overcome her so-called moment of weakness, her findings were the more she focused on her work and family, the less vulnerable she became. No serious events could shake her from the fine line she treated. Everything takes time and her heart fluttering and the beaming smile.she pushed him away. She started out too shy but jumped to being too forward and back to shy. She wanted so badly to kiss him and in her mind's deepest corner, she would do it if she ever were presented the chance but guilt and shaming factors took over, screaming how it was so wrong. And so the sate of confusing endured away and her guarded but as she learned from that moment, everyone deserves and needs to be a little weak, vulnerable, even her.no matter how hard she fought it, resisted it and will against it. Everything takes time and soon her time would come or maybe, just maybe, it already had and she was too her to admit it.  
  
Sydney stopped typing for a moment and reflected over everything. She couldn't feel this way, let her heart be broken like this. He was seeing someone else and they were probably were very happy. No, they were happy. She had seen the way they looked at each other.it was too much to remember. When she found out, she let the emotions rise in her throat, burning like bile-almost escaping her lips. There. She was done. It couldn't go on any further but that's what she felt. That's what she felt towards Vaughn. A hair was quickly tucked behind her ear as she re-read her words, replaying those vivid dreams in her head over and over again. She wanted so desperately to run to the Joint Task Force Ops, grab him from his desk by his collar and-  
  
She was pulled from her thoughts by what sounded like footsteps coming from behind her. She quickly hit the save button on her laptop and reached into her briefcase, resting against her shoulder. There was her gun, the one Vaughn had insisted she carry with her at all times. It was loaded and felt cold but familiar in her hand. She stood up and pressed herself against the chain fence, waiting for this person to show his/her face. The foot pattern almost seemed familiar but the adrenaline in her bones started pump so loudly that she had to strain her ears to hear. The person came closer and closer and as he turned the corner, Sydney aimed her gun and got ready. The person turned the corner and she..  
  
TBC! 


	3. That Could Work

Author: WishingStar  
  
Title: Write Yourself Your Destiny  
  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, it is still not mine. J.J. Abrams owns them.  
  
Rating: G  
  
Pairing: Syd/Vaughn  
  
Summary: Written before the Abduction. Sydney's stuck with a writing assignment for a class and finds herself writing what she wish would happen.  
  
A/N: I haven't forgotten about AND THE BLUEBIRD MAY FALL.I'm writing the next chapter right now! But read this one in the meantime and review, review, review!  
  
  
  
  
  
The person came closer and closer and as he turned the corner, Sydney aimed her gun and got ready. The person turned the corner and she stood straight, "Hands on your head! On your knees!" She managed to bellow, not even thinking about who it might be. "Do it!" She barked again at the figure that had not and moved and held a black envelope in their left hand. His back was to her and she could not clearly see his face. It was obviously a male, trained agent. His body was toned and leaned. Her heart was pounding loudly and the adrenaline was pumping through her blood. Her thoughts were no longer rational. Did SD-6 find out about her and had her tailed? Worse, did she not notice she was being tailed?  
  
"Drop what you're holding! And don't turn around!" The figure silently obeyed and threw the envelope down with at thud that echoed throughout the warehouse. Pieces of paper flew out and littered the cold cement floor. Curiosity got the best of her and she quickly glanced at the papers. They were of beautiful charcoal drawings of a girl.no, of a woman..of her. She stepped closer to the figure and pressed her gun against his neck. The figure immediately straightened up and all the muscles tensed. The darkness in the warehouse impeded her vision and even from that close, she could barely tell who it was. She had a gut feeling but she would rather be safe than sorry. "Turn around, slowly." The figure obeyed and he turned, Sydney let a sight of relief. He had only gotten half way around when she relaxed, dropping the cold gun barrel from his neck. "Vaughn, what the hell are you doing here?" She dropped her arm by her side and inhaled angrily. She had gone from being alone to thinking an assassin was after her to finding Vaughn, the man she had just been writing about!  
  
Slightly out of breath, he replied, "I guess I could ask you the same question." He cocked his head to the side and shook it back and forth. "Were you going to kill me?" A sarcastic answer filled the silence.  
  
"If I had known it was you, I wouldn't of! How was I suppose to you know you weren't SD-6?" She got defensive and her infamous temper flared like a phoenix's tail.  
  
This took a moment for Vaughn to come up with a reply. His green eyes flashed a cocky look as he spoke, "You knew I wasn't SD-6."  
  
"What are you doing here?" She demanded once more, turning her back towards him and walked over to her laptop and her bag. The gun was placed back in her bag and began to sit down. She quietly fussed with her things as she waited for a reply. She soon found herself sitting back down and beckoning for him to join her.  
  
He grabbed his folder and gathered the fallen papers. "Like I said, I could ask you the same thing. Why don't you go first and then I'll tell you what I'm doing here. Sound fair?" He sat on the ground next to her and let his eyes wander over her closed laptop on the other side of her body. "Writing?" He turned towards her and his athletic body brought him to sit near her. His eyes bounced between her body and his folder.double checking a few things.  
  
Her eyes watched him for a moment. He wore a pair of jeans and lazy t- shirt. Every muscle in his body was etched perfectly. "Yeah." She collapsed deeper down to her spot and crossed her ankles, not wanting to look at him while she spoke. "I have this assignment for a writing course I'm taking..you have to write what you know and write what you wish would happen or about something along those lines." Images that had formed in her head about the Joint Task Force and kissing him flooded her mind and blushed her cheeks. She pulled her heeled feet underneath her and sat Indian style.  
  
"What were you writing about?" His voice was calm, soothing, and oh so sensuous. He couldn't judge her emotions at all. She had leaned back into the fence and starred intently at the open area before her. He leaned in a littler closer to her, completely rapt in her every breath, sigh, flutter, wink, or movement she made.  
  
"Personal." She barely whispered. *Please don't ask to read it. Please don't ask to read.* she silently begged, closing her eyes for a split moment.  
  
"I understand." His tone matched hers and his forehead began to wrinkle. "Some things are just personal." He looked away from her and back down at the folder.  
  
"What were you doing here?" She brought her voice to normal volume. He didn't respond right away, so she turned her body towards him, "C'mon, it's only fair."  
  
He was uncomfortable. "Promise not to laugh?"  
  
"Swear to it." A wondering smile parted her lips. She had no idea what he was going to say.  
  
"I was coming here," he sighed, threw his head back, and laughed a little, "to draw."  
  
"You're an artist? Is that what's in that folder? Vaughn!" He had kept such a secret from her. This is excited her so much. Her "crush" was an artist. This was almost too good to be true. "Can I see?"  
  
This was his deep dark secret. He only felt inspired when he was alone, at the one place where they could look at each other and talk. His works revolved around her and his life in the CIA, each slightly different in its own way but each showing how much he thought of her. The fact that she wanted to see them was mortifying. He finally looked at her and with the purest heart of all replied, "Only if I can read your works." Pure terror took hold of her and it was evident in her eyes. "Unless you don't want me to."  
  
She swallowed hard and looked at him. It was now or never. "Sure. If I can see your art." She grabbed her laptop, which never felt so heavy to her hands and handed it to him. He opened the screen and found the word document before him. His eyes flickered back towards her and handed her the artwork. He barely watched her reply and started to read. His eyes got wide during some parts and more relaxed during others.  
  
She went through the portfolio and reached the last drawing. They were all of her but this one, this one had her standing looking in a mirror and her reflection was Vaughn looking back at her with a lipstick stain on his cheek. A single tear was drawn down her cheek. She meant this much to him. Every one was more beautiful then the last. Tears started to fill her eyes as she gingerly put each respected work back. "These are beautiful." She finally remarked.  
  
He looked at her for a moment, clearly embarrassed over his drawings, "Thank..uh, thank you." He raised his eyebrows every time he spoke a word. "Well now that you've seen those." His embarrassment grew but his eyes drifted back towards the screen. It was alright to be embarrassed in front of Sydney. They were alike in so many ways and deserved to be together. Vaughn shut the screen lightly and looked at her and whispered something she couldn't understand but he repeated it, "You've never been weak, you know." His eyes looked almost annoyed and they were. He couldn't believe that she ever saw him as weak.  
  
She felt the tears brim over a little bit, "I can be and I cover it up well."  
  
"You know you don't have to with me. That you never have to cover anything up." He looked down at the laptop and frowned a bit. "I'm so." His emerald eyes focused on her for a moment longer, "You trusted me to read this..I'm so.."  
  
"What?" She pleaded, feeling the fear in her body rise up again. She was becoming desperate for an answer and every moment was pure torture.  
  
"I have a different ending for this. A better ending for this." He smiled a little bit and almost laughed a little. "It would make it that much better."  
  
"I shouldn't have had you read it." She said, instantly remorseful over her puppy love story. "What was I thinking?" Mortification was the worst feeling in the world for her. It swallowed her body whole and made her skin crawl. She needed to get out of there. She got to her feet and started to walk out of the warehouse, leaving the pictures behind her. All she needed to do was get out of there. What was Vaughn going to say? He probably figured out that the story was about him and asked to be reassigned. He was going to suggest that she not hand the story in or she should do something else. She ran, as fast as she could in her heels, towards the door but it was then that her weakness caught up with her. She looked back for a moment only to find Vaughn, running full speed at her. He came right up to her, paused slightly, and tucked his hand behind her neck. She held her breath and felt every worry line show and a lack of oxygen to her brain.  
  
"You're never weak." He barely whispered and leaned in closer and closer. She stood there like a stone, "Don't put your guard up. It could work." And he leaned in that much closer until his lips tenderly touched hers. Their kiss grew in intensity and soon the lack of oxygen made them dizzy. They parted slightly, both panting. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to do that."  
  
"Oh I do." She said in between breaths. "Did we just..."  
  
"Yeah." He smiled. "So how a about that for the ending? She gets the guy in the end and they are so much in love.they've known each other for only a year but they know everything about each other. They can complete each other's sentences and he's her guardian angel and she's his reason for life.  
  
"That could work." She cried her tears of happiness that his lips had finally touched hers.  
  
He leaned in towards her and pulled her close to a tender embrace and a passionate kiss.  
  
  
  
  
  
A sweet happy ending! Please review and review! Both good and bad! I need some constructive criticism! Thank you for reading! I might do a sequel but I have to finish AND THE BLUEBIRD MAY FALL, which is still in process. If you liked this one, then you'll LOVE that one! 


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